Injecting Your Script With Emotional Screen Direction The
following is an excerpt from The
Coffee Break Screenwriter: Writing Your Screenplay 10 Minutes At A Time,
written by Pilar Alessandra, and published by Michael Wiese
Productions. Pilar’s highly-anticipated first book will be on
bookshelves September 2010, and can be pre-ordered via The Writers Store. If you’re going to tell your movie story, you have to guide the reader as to what’s emotionally going on in your script. Some writers are afraid to put anything in scene direction that isn't straightforward. I’m here to tell you that your script needs more. Strong action lines integrate emotion. Imagine that an action line reads: She leaves the room. Fine. That tells us what she does. But see what happens when we put a descriptive word up front that shows us the motivation behind her wanting to leave in the first place: Frustrated, she leaves the room. These words completely change the emotion of the action, helping the reader understand the subtext as well as the choreography. While emotional words can add a lot to an action line, the actual verb itself could also be changed. Look at our example: “She leaves.” With a new verb, our action line might now read: She storms out of the room. It’s up to you to determine when to add emotion and when to replace the verb. Frankly, I’m fine if you do both: She storms out of the room in frustration. When I tell writers this, they start to worry. They’ve heard from others that emotion is frowned on! Nope, writing that is solely internal — that can’t possibly be shown — is frowned on. The bad version of this example might look like this: She storms out of the room in frustration, thinking back to the time when she was a little girl and her brother was allowed to go out, but she wasn’t. Ah, her brother. Where was he now? Would he ever call again? And her parents; had they forgiven her yet for not appearing at her sister’s wedding? Perhaps she should call, or write. But, what was her sister’s address again … I’d like to say that I’ve never read a script like this, but I’d be lying. Bottom line, remember that emotion is necessary in scene direction, but a little goes a long way. PILAR ALESSANDRA is the director of the popular writing program On the Page. Her screenwriting podcasts - with guests from within the industry - regularly appear in the film and TV top 100. She’s worked as Senior Story Analyst for DreamWorks and Radar pictures and has trained writers and story analysts at ABC/Disney, Nickelodeon and MTV. She teaches at numerous writing conferences around the country including The Great American Pitchfest & Screenwriting Conference since the very beginning. Students and clients have sold to Disney, DreamWorks, Warner Brothers and Sony and have won prestigious competitions such as the Open Door Competition, Fade-In Competition and Nicholl Fellowship. "On the Page: the DVD," a collection of Pilar's ten-minute writing tools, and pre-orders for her first book, The Coffee Break Screenwriter are available at The Writers Store.
Crafting The Page Master
Class Get down and dirty with your script by tearing it apart, one word at a time. Learn what makes a professionally polished and well-crafted script with expert advice and tips by the highly sought after speaker and screenwriting coach Pilar Alessandra. In this Master Class, you will identify and practice the methods professional writers use to scrutinize their own work. Scene by scene, discover how to make characters and dialogue leap off the page, through the hands of the reader, and onto film and television screens. A career-creating class that you won’t want to miss! Tickets are selling fast. Click HERE to register.
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