Confessions of a Pitch Competition Judge: Five Tips to Improve Your Pitch

by Bill True

Courtesy of Robbye Lossing True

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When the Austin Screenwriters' Conference first asked me to serve as a judge their annual script pitch competition a couple of years back, someone asked what (besides being a screenwriter) uniquely qualified me to be a good evaluator. "Well, " I told 'em, "I've had more pitches turned down than this whole room in total."

Everyone laughed, but the point was well-taken. Pitching your material is tough! We think it should be easy because our stories are, you know, our babies! We know them inside and out, every nook and cranny. And yet, when someone recently asked me to pitch him the story for my movie (not even a script--a completed movie!), RUNAWAY, I struggled for a moment.

Why is this? The reasons could probably fill an entire book. Most significant, for my money, is that as writers, we're in the safety of our caves. Nothing's in real time. We can craft a sentence or a moment over several hours' time and hone it until it sings. In the, well, "in the moment" experience of pitching, we're forced out of our comfort zone and required to flex a whole new (and underdeveloped) set of muscles.

That said, there are some common experiences I've found many pitch competitors share as I've sat across the table from them. Here is my take on five of them that might help you as you train for your next pitch opportunity.

Present versus perform - There is a fine line between love and hate, and a fine line between presenting and performing. There is no fine line between me and my feelings about seeing folks unleash their most animated inner thespian. Think less "Shakespeare in the Park" and more "Last presentation I gave at work." Because that's what a pitch is--it's a sales pitch. You're presenting. And a presentation, in my book, looks a lot more like a conversation than a soliloquy.
And to be perfectly honest, experience has told me that a successful presentation is less about bowling someone over and more about connecting when them. Relax, and take moment to make eye contact with the people to whom you're pitching. Appreciate them. Heck, even give them a little smile. Wait for them to acknowledge that. At that point, you'll have that connection. And then step off the stage and talk to them like you're talking to a friend.

Conversation and connection. If you focus on these, your delivery will automatically be more genuine and dynamic.
Drop "I need more time" from your vocabulary - Participants in the last round I judged at the AFF pitch competition were treated to a mini-tirade from yours truly on this very topic. "If I hear one more person say 90 seconds isn't enough time...!" Hey, guys, ever hear the phrase "elevator pitch"?
Think about the scene in WORKING GIRL where Melanie Griffith had only the time it took from one floor to another to sell the media mogul guy on her business proposal. That's what it's like sitting on some development executive's office. They are bombarded with stuff all day long. When they first hear what you got, they're not in a frame of mind to hear the "War and Peace" version, the want three magic sentences that will rise above the din. Something that makes them want to hear more.

When you're creating your pitch, start with three sentences - one each to describe acts one, two, and three. And remember that telling a story is about describing a change from one state to another. It's a journey, where you end up in a different place than where you began via traveling a specific road.

When creating your acts one and three statements, ask yourself in each situation: What's happening to my main character, and how does he/she feel about it? Then ask yourself: What event(s) occur to bring about the change between acts one and three? Presto. You have an elevator pitch. From there, all you have to do is to flesh out the details to put some meat on the bones. And all of a sudden, you're gonna start to feel like 90 seconds feels like hitting the temporal jackpot.
"Just the story, ma'am" - First a disclaimer - Yes. If your movie is based on a true story or there is absolutely salient and pertinent information critical to my understanding (and more important, buying) you movie, by all means. I would encourage you, however, to always err on the side of leaving it at the door.
The most important job of a pitcher is make the pitchee's job as easy as possible. In this game, there can't be fast balls, curve balls, and screwballs. Every pitch has to be a nice and slow and down the middle. As your listener, I can reasonably process is the basic movements of your story and characters. If I am forced to wade through any extraneous information, you're gonna lose me. So less is more--more story and less "other stuff".
The Great American PitchFest Executive Director, Bob Schultz and Screenwriter, Bill True at the 2007 Austin Film Festival
& Screenwriter's Conference

Remember the pay-off - Not to put too fine a spin on it, but remember those teases in high school that got you all hot and bothered, only to leave you high and dry at the end of the night? Yeah...that's how it feels when you leave off the pay-off in your pitch.
I can't tell you how many times I hear from people, "Oh, I didn't want to give away the end" or "I wanted to leave something unsaid, so they'd ask questions." My answer: "DON'T! Give it up! Give it all away!" Say everything you need to say. In this case, more is more! If we have questions, trust us, we'll ask them. And, by the way, there will always be questions!

Your pay-off is the story version of the money shot. In fact, don't just include your pay-off, build to it. Savor it! Luxuriate in it! (Whew! Is it hot in here?). Leave it out of your pitch, and your cheating your listener out of the most important information available to help them make a judgement about your movie.
Leave the notes at home - This is a no-brainer. If you're talking to your notes, you're not talking to me. To date, I have never seen someone deliver a pitch that didn't fall into this pit. It's your story, if you don't know it by heart...well, "that don't feed the bulldog," as an old boss of mine used to say.
Build in time practice your pitch. Bounce it off the wall for an hour or so. Walk in, note-free, and connect with me. Have a conversation with me. And remember, I want to like you and your story. I really want to like you.

BILL TRUE is an award-winning screenwriter, professional speaker, and intrepid blogger. His first movie, RUNAWAY, which premiered to universal accolades and won the top prize at the 2005 Austin Film Festival, is slated for release in early 2008. You can meet Bill at this year's Great American PitchFest, where he will be appearing as one of the Storylink All-Stars. He recently completed scripting the indie girl's hockey drama, BREAKAWAY, and is finishing a comedy script chronicling events leading to his being a convicted thief called WHY I HATE JIM CARREY. He is also a featured curator at Film Catcher. You can find out more about Bill by visiting his website.